I really can’t understand what is happening. Random Thoughts… just random. There is soft (not kinky) chaos in the head. Memories are coming like flashes, images. Images of Institute library when I enter the office, Sac when I sit in the park near my apartment, Trip from Kanpur to Delhi when I am in metro, David Lynch Movies when I got to Itaewon, Facebook comments, cellphone (as I have to buy one and you know what Apple iPhone ki MKB)Last night blast, L7 when… Actually I am not getting what I am thinking, it’s difficult to even write but I have to write it in order to unload my thoughts and start with my job work.
Subconsciously, I am at unrest, I am shaking my legs, teeth peeling the skin from my fingers, looking here and there with sleepy eyes like a spy and there is silence. Anneyohaseyo, Meet Silence!! I can just hear taps on keyboard, printer, crusher, roaring drawers, murmurs as if it is coming from a long distance and the sound is on the verge of extinction. It’s like, even the sound is making effort to breach that silence, like silence is succumbing sound to death!! After a long pause if the telephone bell rings, it goes on like anneyohaseyo, haseyou, aupseyo, ain, ye, O… O… O… and that’s it, Game’s over, HangOver!! The disk is stuck in the system and it’s creaking.
A moment comes when people suddenly stand and walk across the office, to different cabins, to the elevator, to Restrooms, to VP’s room. I mean did they all stood up for an interlinked purpose? No!! it’s randomness just randomness and the belief on this randomness becomes strong when I see the charts on my screen. Collective sentiments are so chaotic but only few people drive the market. Now, I am feeling a bit better. See!! how strangely I came to my job talk but I don’t have to stop because the focus Is important and I want to remove even the tiniest noisy cable from the electrical construct inside my head.
People here look like a product from a machine, flat and packed nicely so no doubt there is consumerism disease in this place. The lady at my left is writing on a paper since last 15 minutes Ohh God!! and Ohh no… Hold On, One Sec… it coming back.. Ohhh Shit…(long pause) and I am in the hole again, why the sound of an Indian train… why?? The world is so interconnected by technology but I didn’t get even a single chance to hear or see any Indian Rail or even a sound resembling that in these 3 months. Then Why, Why that Honk?? Let me turn right and see the mountains. There are buildings and mountains behind them but what I interestingly noticed that everyone is Just looking at their screens. It’s becoming hellish, zombieland… I think I should leave writing it’s not helping anymore.
